It is important for the parents to remember that the children are the only victims in a broken marriage. The spouses have all the time and opportunity to look for their second partners and make them happy. But the children could never find second parents. Having foster parents could never replace their real fathers and mothers. In order for the parents to sustain a lasting marriage, they must be made aware of little things that could just put an end to their marriage. Or shall we say, could make their marriage strong.
Decision Making
In some families, the ladder of authority is much visible. Here, the head of the family does the decision making and the rest follows. Yet, there is one important thing to understand. If the family head makes the decision, it does not mean that he thinks of it alone. He needs ideas, suggestions and other inputs. And where will he get them, from people he trusted, the members of his family! I won’t believe that there exists one person who does the thinking alone. At least, he solicited the factors, knowingly or unknowingly, but he had really listened to others. Decision making is always a cooperative effort.
Quarrels
Quarrels in marriage always leave a vacuum in the relationship. This may be followed by silence, of sleeping separately, of not eating together, and this silence might be fatal to marriage. How will you effectively stop a quarrel? Stop talking! If you will stop from talking, conversation will be put to an end. Who wants to talk to someone who does not respond? Here is my tip, if a quarrel will cease, then silence will follow. In silence, you will be forced to listen to your conscience, it will be your conscience alone that you have to listen to, and do whatever your conscience dictates.
After you have cooler heads, discuss your issues.
Money
A common cause of break-up in marriage is money. The lack of it, or its abundance. Wives complained that their husbands are not giving them adequate amount to meet the budget, while some husbands complained that their wives did not allow them leisure although they are the ones working and needs a break. Everybody feels the urgency to have money: money for food and basic needs, money for relaxation and other minor requirements, money for hospitalization and other emergency needs.
But if you will just identify the needs for money, you will find out that money is not always as urgent as what you think! You can cut your budget if there are other needs, you can relax at the back of your home to spare expenses, or you can utilize the services of the government’s health institutions to lessen medical expenses.What is needed is initiative and little sacrifices.
Arguing in front of the children
I read somewhere that you should not argue in front of your children. This will shaken their faith on marriage as an institution.
If you are comfortable to argue anywhere in the house, then do so! But take note; limit yourselves to verbal exchange, no physical abuse. And most important, discuss issues, not personalities. If issues will be discussed, you will likely come to a resolution. Better still, ask your children to join in the discussion. If your arguments are participative, you are teaching your children to think maturely, and they will be your best advisers when you believe something wrong has become to your marriage.
Let God steer your marriage
You are aware that a SUPREME BEING is leading your lives. Let HIM steer your marriage and you will never go wrong.